The Soulful Journey of Recovery by Tian Dayton

Author:Tian Dayton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Health Communications Inc
Published: 2019-11-04T16:00:00+00:00

When Intimacy Is Triggering

What triggers us sends up a red flag marking the spot of unprocessed pain. Getting really triggered can hurtle us into that confused, vulnerable, and helpless inner kid space all over again. In much the same way as the sound of a car backfiring can throw a soldier back to a battlefield of years past. Our gunshot sound is intimacy and deep connection, fears of feeling close, of connecting on a deep level. Fear of humiliation, of our own deep neediness and vulnerability. Fear of exposure.

The very feelings of closeness, dependency, and vulnerability that are so much a part of intimacy can trigger us into the same defensive behaviors that we used as kids to say safe, to feel whole rather than splintered.

We can be remarkably blind to our own extreme modes of functioning when our trauma mind gets triggered. But when those unconscious feelings get activated, they can become very big, very fast. And we may have a hard time right-sizing them and regulating them once they are stirred up.

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